trust takes time, you dont have to rush

I recently had to transfer therapists, which was devastating as we really formed a special bond and trust. I considered not returning to therapy, as starting over with someone new and repeating the timeline is difficult. Nonetheless, I chose to continue as it's important for me to be in a consistent mental health routine.

During intake, my new therapist mentions my note of having PTSD and asks for more about this experience. My whole body went flat, and my stomach dropped. Why do I have to say so soon? How do I sum this up? Why should I need to? How do I prevent minimizing my past while also explaining its significance and pain, whilst also proving my truth?

"From a past relationship..." I began, then paused as I realized that this is my space. As my previous therapist always told me, if I am not ready to speak about it, I don't have to. I can choose as much or as little as I feel comfortable doing. I think all of this in the few seconds between the phrases, and I decide I want to practice this boundary in this new space. Being endlessly open does not make me more understood in therapy. I return the eye contact, "That's all I want to say.

"That is totally okay." They sweetly lock eyes with me for just a moment before giving a reassuring smile and moving on to the next question.

Baby steps are baby steps.