Overall need help / do all babies just hate to sleep at some point?

Well. Not sure where to start. My second pregnancy was a nightmare, hg and gdm with high insulin needs... Felt bad like I neglected my toddler 2-3 at the time because I was vomitting so much. He's a spirited child and we had a really rough first 14 months. My daughter was born, she was perfect and healthy. Thank God because I was so worried about all the medications I was on during her pregnancy and basically not eating. I weighed less than when I first got pregnant when she was born... About 10lbs below pre pregnancy weight. Shortly, days later I had a bad infection, battled that until I ended up in er about 15 days later because it turned out to be a super bug. Needed iv antibiotics. Then the gallbladder attacks started about once or twice a week... I was a mess but still feeling better than my pregnancy and taking care of two kids, NB and 3 yo. Oh and our crazy mutt. My baby slept and enjoyed her crib. Loved stretching out. Wouldn't sleep on me after 1 mo old. Which is super odd. My first was is a terrible sleeper and needed support to fall asleep so this worked ok for us. I felt feel bad for leaving her at night to sleep in my firsts room and worried about fairness constantly and was racked with guilt all the time. I cried alot about this. I was hospitalized for emergency surgery and left her overnight with my husband. I felt so sad for my kids. I cried alot in the hospital for them, I was 3 mo pp. I never left my first this early. The first time I left him overnight was to have my second baby. This is guilt I feel for leaving my second I can't seem to shake. I did get alot of rest in the hospital and honestly having nurses care for me, letting me lay down and sleep was unreal. I didn't have to "do" anything but rest. I mean obviously was in pain but it was just so much different than caring for two kids. Not that I enjoyed it, but like... It was a relief when I was in pain like that to not have to do shit. My husband brought Netflix and I didn't even want to watch or do anything. I literally did nothing but sleep. I slept so much from the meds it was incredible. Like all day sleeping waiting for emergency surgery. Anyway. My husband and I got into it the other day, and both said regrettable things. But a couple things stuck with me and I'm trying to figure it out... "You don't spend enough time with her" "You / we let her cry too much sometimes" I'm a huge advocate for attachment parenting so this really felt like a gut punch. My girl is 13 mo old now and clearly going thru something because she just suddenly hates her crib. Will not be put down. She Loved her crib. She was definitely a unicorn in that regard. My first was a very... Challenging putting it mildly, baby. I have let her cry for less than 10 minutes if I've had to go to the bathroom get something to drink etc. While trying to put her to bed. I do not make a habit of this. My first was a spirited baby colic and the crying legit breaks me. I can't listen to it. So that hurt alot. But my questions are: -are babies destined to hate their crib at some point and just be done with it? I'm getting ready to co sleep because it's too hard and dangerous to sleep with her in the rocking chair. -how can I get siblings, 4yo male and 13 mo old female to play together? Or games / activities we, me and them can do together? We do most things together but my son often plays alone in imagination world.

• has anyone had success for getting baby back in their crib after a regression? Without sleep training? Like once they pass it they go back, naturally to liking their crib again? ( I will not be sleep training her)

Baby age I do worry about my bond with her constantly. I pass her easily to my husband when he gets home because I'm just babied / kidded out for a bit and feel like I need a break. I find this age from walking to about 2-2.5 really hard because it's so physically demanding, hunched waling with them, constantly bending to stop from eating random lint, carrying them non stop, no longer nurse for while so not much sitting. Can't eat drink because one arm always has to be ready to grab / pick them up from dying. I love my girl but man it can be exhausting. Not to mention the constant pinching headbutts broken glasses and necklace etc. this age with my first was easier because he literally wasn't screaming for 6-9 hours every day, but she never did that. I find I'm really missing the newborn stage of sitting with her nursing peacefully, watching her little eyes close... Like heavenly. Maybe I'm a bad mom. Idk. But I miss that version of her alot. Plus besides car rides, was so easy to care for and take her places. Just nurse on demand and she was happy. Maybe I am just super lazy.

-will this get better/ how can I fix our bond? does it need fixing? I just feel so much guilt about this. She's such a wonderful baby but I do hand her to dad when he gets home from work fairly easily.