I still regret what I did.

Hi, I’m someone who isn't really sure if I’m trans or not. Some days I feel comfortable with my gender, and other days I wish I were the other one. However, part of what holds me back from transitioning is things like this—and other places online—that make it seem like being trans is horrible, full of downsides, and a shitty life. I know that’s not the case, but seeing so much negativity makes me afraid of and resistant to the idea of being trans. Because of my confusion, I made a post on another trans subreddit that was in such poor taste that I got permanently banned. I didn't intend to offend anyone, and I still feel guilty and terrible about what I wrote in that post. I’m scared of not knowing whether I am trans or not—maybe I’m living the wrong way—but if I *am* trans, I feel afraid of and resistant to everything that entails (I’m not trying to offend anyone; this is just how I feel).