Not who I married

My husband is acting like a scared insecure child. He needs his parents for everything, down to calling his dad for encouragement to go to IOP. His mom filled out his LTD forms for him. They come from 3 hours away to take care of him and let him rest. Husband has reduced himself down to an anxious mess who needs constant reassurance for every action he takes.

I’ve been living in absolute stay at home mom HELL. My 3 year old pisses everywhere and my clingy 10 month old doesn’t even recognize her dad, if you ask me. His parents come to visit and help but then later on criticize me for yelling at my 3 year old. As if I’m not stressed and annoyed. They sit and watch me work while they polish my husbands balls.

His parents tell me I need to encourage him more and be more patient with him. But I have and I do. my husband just goes on and on about his anxieties. by the time I’m frustrated with having the same conversation over and over, he acts like I was never reassuring in the first place.

Husband pushes me to talk about what’s bothering me. When I do finally blow up at him for not being a good partner or dad and being dependent on his parents, he says these convos are making it harder for him to get better. He has tried to shift blame onto me a few times. But like I know what he’s doing so it’s not going to work on me.

This is not just a vent. I’d also like to know what you would do if they were me. How much of this is still a depression ep and how much of it is my husband’s weak character?
He’s been completely sober for 5 months
Takes his meds.
Reluctantly goes to his iop
Doesn’t practice cbt or the other therapeutic things that’s are suggested to him unless prompted by me.