I wish I had breasts

Got made fun of my whole life for being flat, couldn’t even be happy on Halloween last year cause my sister made fun of me for wearing a push up bra and being a ‘fake hoe’. My whole family has large breasts, thin frames, while I’m just flat, tall, and manly. My best friend’s tall but she has the most exaggerated hourglass and pretty face in such a classic way and I look like a fucking loser. I’m built like such a man, and if I at least had some amount of breast it’d look at least decent with how I dress. I have to constantly clip and tie any top or dress I wear cause it’s so bad. Yet it doesn’t compliment my big wide man shoulders either, I just look like a man and I’ve been called so many horrible things because of it. I’ve been mocked and ridiculed my whole life so I overcompensate with nails, makeup, etc. But it’s still nothing. Men only like me for five seconds until a woman that actually looks like a woman comes along, and women I’ve liked either don’t like me or put me into masc boxes when I’m not that at all. I hate myself and I feel like if I had a normal figure or less manly face, or AT LEAST tits I’d be seen as somewhat of a woman.

I think I have low estrogen, due to that and my naturally incredibly deep voice I’ve forced higher for years, along with other slews of reasons. But I’m past puberty, early 20s, so taking estrogen won’t do shit for me, it’d just make me fat like I was almost my whole life until two years ago.

I hate myself. I genuinely shouldn’t exist.