Idk if I am the problem

I’m honestly confused idk if I’m actually the problem or if he is.. We have been together a year and a half and we moved in together 3 months in. I started to make a list on my phone of the fights within the last few months because the arguments always start from something I would never expect would start it.

When he moved in with me he smokes flower/thc/weed whatever you want to call it and I started to smoke too I’ve been smoking this whole time and I’m finally 4 days without it. I feel like smoking with him has made me very foggy and usually I was high when the arguments would start so I would just try to fix it and I assumed I was the problem because he told me so.

He is amazing, he’s so sweet and kind he buys the homeless food all the time he is kind in that way and he holds the door open for me..he takes care of me …he holds my hand and sends me cute love videos he he makes me feel so happy but sometimes he is the complete opposite

An example of a little fight that grew big is today he had to work I woke up sick and tired but I always wake up with him while he gets ready to make his lunch, pack his backpack, and set his clothes out so today he picks up his drone to take to work with him he just got it and he’s excited about it. I asked why you taking your drone? are you going to fly it when your at work? he got so pissed about this question I instantly knew I did something wrong so I said oh are you staying over night tonight (because Mondays/wednesdays he has to work overnights but sometimes he gets to come home which he was able to last night etc sorry I’m just trying to make this make sense for you all) his whole attitude changed and he said fuck it I’m not taking it

I said why? why are you getting mad? he is like because you ask dumb questions why would you think that’s a good question to ask? I said idk because it’s just a question. then he starts saying I said it with a rude tone am I his mom? he throws his backpack in the backseat im like why r u so mad over this? I’m sorry i asked a dumb question im sorry for my tone I genuinely didn’t mean to come across rude I actually didn’t even know my tone was off I am sorry…then he lectures me the whole ride to work about how im making him boring i probably think he isnt actually working today because i am crazy that’s why i sit in the car when he goes in (this was another argument we had and for back story i was waiting for a goodbye kiss I thought he would come give me one because he always does but i sat there and he said it looked like I was being his mom he was pissed) so anyways now I have ruined his whole day like I always do.

Another example we were going to the lake to swim with his family i said I don’t really want to go but I will for him I told him this and he instantly got pissed texted his family we aren’t going now and it’s all my fault he can’t see his family because I said that…

I checked his phone on night he gave me the pw I got in it while he was sleeping and I started to shake because I was so scared I would find something my ex cheated on me so I’m very scared about being cheated on I accidentally woke him up and I told him the truth(& maybe that sounds dumb to tell him but he literally said I could anytime) he got mad at me and wouldn’t let me go to sleep he said I have to much time on my hands he tried to make me go clean and I was telling him no I jerked away and hit my hand on the oven and broke my finger

One thing about him is he will lecture me for hours i get so tired I shut down and cry but now I am not smoking I am clear headed so I’m trying to see this for what is but I love him so much and I don’t want this to be true.

Also I want to say when he gets mad he gets mean and really tries to hurt me like with his words he will bring up things that I told him like my childhood, he brings up that I’m from a small town and they’re all dumb there and I’m sheltered, he brings up my age I’m actually older than him by 11 yrs he brings up how I’ve lived my life and I’m wasting his he will say things like I shouldn’t be this dumb at my age but if I went through everything we would be here awhile.