The AFAB Label

i am someone who realized i was trans around puberty. looking back, despite how much i enjoyed doing “girly” things as a child as a form of play, there were signs, but it took me a hell of a long time to realize that i was a man specifically. past a certain age when i started getting into school i was outcast almost immediately from other girls for being “weird,” and only ever really had a few friends here and there in school who were other “weird kids” save for a single close female friend. i also learned from a young age as the result of having an emotionally abusive and bigoted family how to hide everything about my real interests and personality. as a result, i didn’t have this mythical “girlhood” a lot of trans guys and transmasculine people talk about being attached to. i also always had mixed-gender friend groups where there was no “gossiping about boys,” no group sleepovers, no swapping makeup tips or whatever, i had no father-daughter bonding and my self-identified tomboy mom didn’t engage in feminine activities with me, sure i got catcalled but barely faced direct misogyny, mostly just being treated differently for being a failure of a woman and neurodivergent. i had a phase where i leaned heavily into hyperfemininity because i wanted people to like me but it did nothing because i just couldnt act like the others. it irritates the hell out of me that people act like i have some divine connection and innate understanding of and to — let’s face it — “other” women just because of my natal genit