When does it get better?

We’ve had a rough start with a colicky baby.ive lost all my independence and spend the days rocking him to sleep in my room. His sleeps got worse and he’s up all night wriggling. I’ve eliminated everything out of my diet and he’s ebf. I honestly hate life at the moment and sometimes wish I hadn’t had another baby. My other kids were not like this. I know it’s not his fault as he is colicky and I love him so much… but it’s so hard. I find myself missing my old life and I can’t take another sleepless night with him wriggling and being uncomfortable. I resent my husband who gets a full night sleep and gets to be out the house. I feel like I’ve ruined my life. My baby is four months old nearly and I love him but I’m just feeling so down. I can’t ever see my life getting better.