Anxious partner - I’m getting exhausted

SOS.

My boyfriend is so anxious and it’s driving me insane.

We’re both forty.

We’ve been together almost 3 years.

We live together.

We’ve been through a round of IVF. (Unsuccessful but I still think it’s relevant.)

He’s met my entire family, friends, been to work functions with me.

Every single day he wants to do a relationship check-in and tell me everything is ok - WHICH I KNOW. It’s like he tries to turn his own need for reassurance into my need. He will constantly ask if I still love him, if I still want him to come on vacations we planned TOGETHER. If I’m still happy. Etc, etc. YES! I feel like no matter what I do, it’s not enough to prove to him that I love him and it’s getting exhausting. I told him this and he said that I made a good point but nothing changes.

I don’t want to talk about NOTHING else but our relationship. I can’t mention something I want to do, or something I enjoy / enjoyed without him making it into something about him. “Well could I come with you next time?” Ex- two nights ago I was talking about a trip I took last summer SOLO to see the Backstreet Boys as part of my 40th birthday present to myself. He was originally supposed to come but his own things got in the way and he didn’t. I was saying how much I would love to go again and he gets all pouty and says, “well instead you got this house with me this summer.” And “well I’d like to come with.” Can I talk about something without being reminded of the obvious?

This morning on my way to work, he calls me twice. My phone was in my bag- usually my watch will tell me if I get a call and my phone isn’t visible. My watch is dead. I had taken my phone out to text my work assistant and saw he called. I planned to call him back but he called a third time so I answered and he’s freaking out saying my location showed me sitting on the side of the road - which I HIGHLY doubt. He acted all concerned and was like - you know you can talk to me, I can tell you are upset.
I said I am ok like 3 times and he kept pushing. I also said I know I can talk to you, we’ve established this. After this long together we don’t need to take a pulse every single day. If I don’t keep the conversation going about other topics, he assumes I’m mad or upset. No- maybe I just don’t want to be the only one who has something to discuss other than, “are you ok? Do you still love me?”

wtf can I tell him to make him CALM DOWN?

He’s been working extra lately because we have a vacation planned and he’s “so afraid” it’s going to put distance between us. Which, to me, it’s not because it’s temporary and for a good cause. We still see each other daily and I’m not worried at all. I’ve explained this to him and yet he brings it up daily.

Am I being nasty? Or am I justified in just exhausted, now bordering on annoyed?