Hypertonic pelvic floor + IUD + possible early sexual trauma (I can’t decide if I’ve imagined it or not but I’m pretty sure I didn’t)

I’ve experienced painful sex for as long as I can remember. I’ve been sexually active since the age of 15, and while I do remember those initial times hurting just from losing my virginity, I don’t remember it being such extreme pain afterwards. And throughout college, I wasn’t super sexually active, but when I didn’t have sex, I don’t remember it being super painful. I just remember it never being particularly enjoyable. Like I just didn’t really care. But I got IUD at the age of 25, and I’m recently wondering if this has led to my chronic hypertonic pelvic floor issues. I’ve been suffering with the symptoms ever since I got the IUD, as far as I can remember. When I actually got that inserted, my glasses both fogged up and I fainted. Then I went to the parking lot and projectile vomited. Then I went home and was an agony in a hot bath with a heating pad for 36 hours. So that’s how painful that was to me. And as far as Gyno exams go, I know everybody thinks they’re uncomfortable and they don’t feel great, but I thought everybody also was in like immense pain during these exams. I just thought it was something we didn’t talk about for some reason. But I imagine everybody’s experience was similar to mine, and that’s why everybody dreaded going to the Gyno so much. But apparently it’s not nearly as bad for other people. Anyway, my sex life, since even before my IUD has never been super fulfilling. Very hard to ever achieve orgasm, almost never through penetrative sex (maybe thrice; and I was on dr@g$). What’s more, penetrative sex hurts! It feels like I’m being cracked open every time. Like; I feel both too tight and too shallow. I feel EVERYTHING. Like; even if it was a micro p, it could still hurt. But whatever the point is, it has led to some real consequences in my sex and relationship love life. I have almost a fear of men, and I almost feel protective over my body in a way and I don’t want to be seen as sexual. I have ADHD, and one of the things that we hate is to be perceived. I just hate to be perceived as a sex thing a sex creature. But beyond that, I always have in the back of my mind, it’s gonna hurt just a little bit. Like, it’ll hurt a little bit during the sex, it’ll hurt a little bit after sex. And it’s never like such awful sex that I’m crying, but there’s still can be some significant pain sometimes. Anyway, so of course I want to avoid that. And then, on top of that, I believe I was molested as a child. I do not have definitive proof, just a very weird sensation memory type thing. I can’t explain that. But I do believe that happened, and I’m wondering if that also has something to do with the tight pelvic floor. Because I know that trauma can cause that as well. And I had significant trauma to my body like 10 years ago. I had a huge accident and fucked up all my internal organs, so I don’t know if that has anything to do with it. But my boyfriend and I are really struggling in our relationship because obviously he wants to have sex with me, and I would love to do that too, but sex is just holy and appealing to me now. Because I get no enjoyment out of it, it just seems like Work. And because I could potentially be in pain afterwards, it seems like something I went to avoid. And that’s not fair to either of us. IDK what to do. It just seems so unfair and archaic that sex is so important in a relationship. Like, my boyfriend couldn’t survive without it every so often. But I literally could never have sex again and not give a shit.
OH! Also my testosterone levels are suuuuuuuper low.
Oh oh! I also am diagnosed AuDHD OCD PTSD BPD. I’m an Aries and a type 4 on the enneagram