on paper, they were good parents. they provided for all my needs, never hit or yelled at me, and even let me get on hrt a year before i could have on my own. with that being said though, they were also grossly incompetent. they watched passively as i burnt out academically and socially, forced me into going to their religious borderline cult that hated tr00ns, and neglected my physical health to the point where i was hospitalized, and later ended up with ptsd and stunted growth (haha im so lucky i saved myself a couple inches in height and a few shoe sizes haha totally worth the trauma). 

i don't believe they acted out of malice, rather they were too absorbed in their own lives and the lives of my siblings to the point where i flew under the radar, not recieving the support i needed. they missed clear signs of mental illness because i was always a "good kid" who never got in trouble. it took until i was 16 to recieve a autism and adhd diagnosis, and even then it was only because my therapist reccomended i get tested.

if i sound bitter, it's because i am. i have no irl support group and feel lost around normal people due to being raised around religious fanatics, and everyday i deal with trauma from an event that could have been prevented if they had just listened to me. they get mad at me for not opening up with them, but when i do they deny any wrongdoing and get mad at me for being depressed (wtf).

i feel bad complaining. so many people have much worse parents, and even making this post feels self indulgent and sympathybaiting. idk tho, any one else feel similarly?

i feel bad for hating my parents so much