Its honestly draining

To think about it, i have been the eldest daughter of the family, people expected me to do a lot almost everything and be good at everything. if i dont satisfy their expectations they stare, stare at me like i am some disappointment. my whole childhood i feel like i am walking on eggshells. Like one small mistake, one small problem is going to be a problem, even every actions i make feels like being watched and judged. Growing up in this house feels like i am carefully programmed robot, built to just obey and do work. I am honestly tired, drained, angry, and envious of other kids since they are able to do what they want and not what their parents want. I am jealous of my siblings for being favored by them, while i do work they can just lounge and scroll on their phones or ipads without being scold at, while i am getting yelled at and judged for something so shallow.
i honestly dont know how to cope with my personal problems.