Trying again after TFMR

I had to have a TFMR over the winter for conjoined twins. This came after 2 previous miscarriages. I knew that I needed a few months to regroup before we started trying again, so I gave myself that, but I just turned 37 and I really don't want to have to go through another pregnancy older than this. My husband and I started trying (or trying to try I guess lol) for the first time after the termination last night. I thought I was in a better place (I am apparently an expert at compartmentalizing) and I totally shut down and thought I was about to have a panic attack. I absolutely did not expect that. Just wondering if anyone has been through anything similar and what you did to help yourself get out of your own head and move on😅.