My tumor grew back after chemo

I feel so defeated. For anyone who saw my post from yesterday about my Ki number and re-biopsy, I got confirmation this morning that my tumor, which had originally shrunk by half, is back to its original size within 4 weeks after finishing chemo. The oncologist wants surgery asap. Apparently while chemo worked initially, the tumor figured out how to outsmart it. And even though I have Lynch Syndrome which is supposed to be very reactive to immunotherapy, mine isn't which he said was highly unusual and the immunotherapy didn't work either. His only words were... I think we can still salvage this. Which isn't very reassuring.

I switched oncologists and cancer centers specifically after diagnosis so I could get immunotherapy. Then my new oncologist who I adored left a month later and I got assigned this guy. The surgeon I picked, who I love and is the only calming person to me, is out of town till the 18th of August and now I have to meet a random stranger surgeon this morning and I don't think I'll get the plastic surgeon I picked either. Everything has gone to shit. My husband keeps telling me to stay hopeful but everything I've hoped for has been dashed. The only positive right now is so far all the scans are showing my lymph nodes are clear but I know that isn't a guarantee and I don't want to count on that either. I'm so mad, I'm so scared and frankly I'm so jealous. I'm 48. I've lived an ok life, but gave up all my dreams to take care of everyone else. I've literally given up everything, why is the universe taking this from me too?

My surgery was supposed to be in 3 weeks and now I'm looking at possibly a few days. I'm not prepared in any way. I thought I had time. I guess I just need to scream into the void. I'm not feeling any hope right now. This feels like a nightmare.