My self harm and my best friends

Does anyone else feel like they don’t cut deep enough? My best friend has keloid scars that look more “scarred” than my self harm scars. Mine are red and flat, I just do a lot of them instead of cutting deep enough to leave keloid scars. She cuts a few times but cuts deeper I think, I cut more but don’t go as deep. It makes me feel like I’m just attention seeking compared to her. Like my need to do it isn’t as real as hers. Like I am just doing it because I want people to see it and that’s not what it’s for. It is to feel the pain and see the blood. I don’t know. It just makes me feel like I’m not ill enough. Like I’m not sick enough. I feel stupid lmao.