I miss you S

Dear S,

It has been two months since I broke up with you.

The first days were unbearable. I cried every day, and I constantly felt like I was going to throw up. Then exactly after 60 days, I realized you had blocked me. I guess this is truly it for us.

I know you wanted me to reach out to you. I know you loved me so much. I loved you so much too. But I have to let you go for good.

I could have never imagined that I would become this close to someone. You were my first love, my first relationship, and my first kiss. The most beautiful part is that it was the same for you. It was such a beautiful chapter in both of our lives.

I am truly sorry for all the times I hurt you. I made mistakes, and some of those mistakes created uncertainties and problems in our relationship. I apologize for everything I did wrong—for every careless word I said and every moment I hurt you in any way.

You will always be my princess, just like your name.

I will never forget the day I kissed you. My heart was pounding, and we were both so nervous. I asked you, you thought about it for few minutes, you hugged me from being nervous, then you decided you wanted to kiss me and then we kissed like little kids would. It was so funny and so sweet. I still remember feeling your teeth. :)

I also can’t forget the day we were at the hospital. I was terrified that something was going to happen to you. I held your hand while you were lying in that bed. Your eyes were in such a bad condition, but to me, you were still the same beautiful girl. That was the day I fell in love with you all over again.

When I look back now, I wish I could fix some of the mistakes I made. But I know I can’t.

I promised you that I would focus on myself, and I am trying my best. I hope you trust me, and I hope you never stop caring for yourself.

Please don’t starve yourself. Please go to a doctor about your headaches and your sleep problems.
Please don’t keep insisting that everything is fine. Take care of yourself.

It was so painful to watch you go through all of that. And on top of it, it broke my heart to see you sad because of me. I couldn’t make you happy anymore.

I couldn’t make you laugh or smile.

I really tried.

I really loved you.

I will never forget you.

I will never stop praying for you.

If you ever need someone in your life you can trust, you can always trust me. I will try to help you with anything.

You have my contact.

God bless you, Princess.