How to stop being awkward and ND

I’m an autist. I have very bad social skills I’m aware of and have struggled my entire life making friends. Realized I was gay which was its own struggle but not worth the cortisol spike so accepting it. I’m a kissless handholdless virgin and have never even talked to a guy romantically. Don’t think I’m ugly, have had guys come up to me but my entire being is such an awkward chudcel so they always get uninterested. Special interest was gym for a while so just focused on that and being alone. I’m over it and fantasize about dating and kissing a cute twink type but can’t for the life of me figure out how to get better at socializing. Specifically twink types make me the most nervous and their confidence makes me an absolute stuttering loser. My body language is very stiff and noticeably neurodivergent, and can’t even hold eye contact for 1 second. I think going to a gay club would be a humiliation ritual, especially since all the guys are very confident there. What do I do? Is my life hopeless? I’m 19 and have gone to therapists who haven’t helped with this aspect.