My(F29) girlfriend(F27) is rebuilding her life after a huge loss and I don't know if there is room for me in it

My girlfriend lost her mother to cancer this past year(father not in the picture) and I was there when it happened.

We met online during covid and have been long distance for 5 years. For most of those years her mother was diagnosed with cancer. She passed away this past February and things have changed since then(obviously, but keep reading). There are a lot of other things going on and nuances that I won't include here, but the gist is that I was with her for 3 months non stop leading up to and after the death until I had to leave (the long distance is different countries so there are legal limits to our visits). I felt guilty for leaving because I was able to get out of this situation and she was left alone to deal with it. This was her life, she couldn't just escape it, and now she was being left alone to deal with it. We continued to facetime every single day up until I had to go on a trip that put me in an even further timezone from her. I tried to text her updates and make time for calls but every time I offered a call she was busy, or the time just didn't work out. I didn't think much of it because a 9 hour time difference is obviously hard to maintain. I returned from my trip to find that so much had changed over those 2 weeks. She stopped texting me constantly and never called me or had time for me anymore. She told me that she used the 2 weeks as an opportunity to spend more time with her coworkers and make friendships. She mentioned that she couldn't sit alone in the house any more as it was eating away at her and I fear if she hadn't gotten out she might have done something drastic. So she got out and worked on building a life for herself in this new reality. I was so happy to hear this, but I'm worried that this new life doesn't include me. She spent most of her 20s stuck in her small town being the primary caregiver to a sick mother and grandmother. Now that they have both passed she finally feels free to start her own life and frequently says she wasted/lost most of her 20s. I have been with her for most of her 20s so I can't help but take this personally and I am scared that she sees me as just another thing that held her back during her 20s and maybe the last thing left stopping her from truly starting over. I have voiced all of this to her very clearly and asked that exact thing and she denies that it's true and says she still loves me. But the communication and relationship we had just 2 weeks ago has completely left. I have had a lot of open conversations with her (mostly me talking about what I'm feeling and what I need) and given her opportunities to end the relationship and she pushes back saying that's not what she wants. But then she doesn't change how she communicates with me and I feel neglected. I've told her she's pushing me away and making me feel like a nuisance but she says she just needs some alone time and is stressed and me saying these things is overwhelming her. Is this something that people experience during grief? She was honest with me at one point and said that she felt like she needed to rebel against the people in her life that are still there, myself included. I understood that and I don't hold that against her at all. But I don't understand how a relationship can change so drastically in just 2 weeks. I am praying that this is just something she needs to experience and she will find her way back to us. I have been so comfortable and confident in our relationship for 5 years and this is the first time I've ever genuinely worried we wouldn't make it. I feel like I annoy her when I text her or ask for a call. Even the fact that I have to ask for calls is new. We used to speak on the phone multiple times a day and she would always call me. Now I have to ask if she has time to talk and even when she says she does I sometimes don't hear from her. I am learning for the first time in our relationship that I apparently have an anxious attachment style and at the moment it seems like she has an avoidant attachment style. I've never even come across these terms until this past week and I am totally self diagnosing here. But why is this only coming up now, 5 years in? I know there was a major life event and I'm trying to be patient because I know she is going through a lot, but I also feel that I deserve at least a little communication. Is there a way through this for us? I've just never been treated like this in our 5 years and I want things to go at least semi back to normal. We've made such big plans for our life together and now I'm scared I'm the only one that still wants that.

Side note: I am flying there in less than 2 weeks to stay for 2+ months. This was planned a while ago, well before this shift happened. I have asked her multiple times this past week if I should still come and she continues to say yes and that she wants me there.