If a woman wants to thrive, she must step away from men.

Hi i am tracy**，**here is my story~

I got divorced when I was 28—to be precise, I became a single mother just one month after my son was born.

Since then, I kept exploring and tried several entrepreneurial ventures, eventually building a small business of my own. I managed it very well;

I owned my own BMW and real estate without a single cent in mortgage or debt. That used to be a great source of pride for me. That was also my single life back in China.

Now I married **，**Moving from a short marriage to a cross-border marriage, I've discovered a lot of amazing things……

I realize how difficult it is for a married woman to have her own career, because it requires the support of her partner. Many men promise support verbally, but their actions rarely match their words.

I once watched an interview with a famous American woman who created a unique, highly fragrant bread and later built a successful bakery chain (I’m sorry I can’t recall her name).

Before she succeeded, she spent nine months in the kitchen endlessly testing recipes, leaving flour everywhere along with piles of ruined bread. Her husband supported her unconditionally. To be honest, I used to think all American men supported their wives that way.

When I came to the United States, I found i was wrong! I wanted was to build a small business just like I had in China.

And.Because expenses here are high and everything costs money, I want to contribute to the household too, instead of letting him carry all the burden on his own

But my husband believes I married him for money and came here simply to make cash.

That claim is both absurd and hurtful—though mostly absurd. Right now, I am still in the preparation stage and haven't achieved tangible results yet, which makes me feel like a loser.

I constantly feel a lack of resources, and my momentum is frequently disrupted, almost drained completely by constant arguments.

For instance, recently, due to the language barrier, I didn’t hear clearly what he said. When he got home, he unleashed a torrent of rage, screaming at me for not doing the laundry or putting my socks into the hamper.

In fact, I've been working hard on my English, and it's improved a lot since I first arrived. But I still can't reach native-speaker level, especially when it comes to very fast, slurred, connected speech.

One time at school last yeat,I ran into an American man who spoke fluent Chinese. I was so surprised I asked him why.

He told me his wife is Chinese, so he wanted to learn Chinese well in order to communicate better with her — to love her better. That's when it hit me: learning a language isn't just my job alone. It can be something two people do together.

But I didn't force my husband to learn Chinese. After all, he's older and Chinese is one of the hardest languages in the world. But when he gets angry, he completely forgets that I'm a foreigner……

He claimed that not following his instructions was a sign of disrespect. I told him I didn't understand what he said, and he replied that if I didn't understand, I should have asked for clarification.

I told him I was deep in thought at the time, and besides, even assuming I had understood but forgot to do the laundry, what kind of major offense was that to be escalated to a level of disrespecting him?

He even threw my picture frame ten feet across the room. I was deeply shocked. It’s terrifying how scary a person can become in a rage; this clearly falls into the realm of verbal and psychological violence.

There are many similar scenes like this. A small part stems from the differences between America and China, but most of it comes from the contrasting mindsets of men and women, alongside a lot of accumulated conflicts.

I see many couples running online stores or creating video content together—the husband shoots while the wife edits, or the wife appears on camera while the husband edits and adds background music, or the wife hosts livestreams while the husband handles shipping.

They cooperate, help each other out, and improve their family's financial situation together.

However, due to our age gap, it’s impossible for my husband to help me with online or digital work—plus, he has his own job. So, I have to figure out everything by myself.

My mind is constantly working on what to do next, requiring immense focus, which is why I didn't hear what he said that time. Despite explaining myself repeatedly, he still insists that I am just lazy, irresponsible, and extremely selfish.How can a single mom who's been raising her kid alone for 16 years be selfish?

Lately, our relationship has dropped to a freezing point, and I've been reflecting on the fact that I am simply not the kind of wife he envisions. Because I haven't succeeded in my career here yet, my only perceived value seems to be doing housework.

I believe true love isn't just spoken words; it's deep mutual understanding, supporting each other, and helping each other thrive. Unfortunately, neither of us can do that for the other, leaving us with nothing but complaints.

I found My husband never truly understood me before we got married. He merely viewed me as a pitiful single mother, a subject in need of being saved, rather than an equal love interest—nothing more. At the same time, he thinks China is just a cesspool, just like India's lower caste.

So when I mention wanting to work and make money, he says there's no need for me to work; when I bring it up again, he furiously accuses me of being greedy for money, money is evil,even claiming I came to America solely to make money.

He doesn't understand how important it is for a woman—especially one who has previously built a successful business—to achieve a career of her own again!

After all, I am a well-educated woman with my own self-worth to realize, not a lapdog meant to just eat, drink, and stay at home.

Furthermore, I am genuinely not someone who enjoys housework. Back in China, I hired help once a week because I had the financial capability to pay for it, and I used that saved time to generate more income.

Now I realize that no matter where a man is from in the world, very few actually want their wives to succeed. They would rather have their wives remain powerless and accomplished in nothing, because it makes them feel superior.

Men who genuinely respect women as equal human beings are exceedingly rare. Deep down, they don't believe women can achieve a damn thing—they think a woman's only purpose is to sleep, cook, clean, live in the man's shadow, obey his words, and treat him as supreme.

It is a truly tragic reality.

Sorry I’ve written so much, but these are all my deepest thoughts. I don’t have any friends here—I mean the kind you can talk to face-to-face, freely and effortlessly. So turning to the internet is all I have, even though I know it’s not the best place to open up.

Maybe I actually have what it takes to be a writer. Back in China, I mainly use the written word to sell my products, with over two million words under my belt.