40 [M4F] EST - If you like bullet points, raw vulnerability, and getting caught in the possibility of something life-changingly amazing - write to me, and escape.

The boring basics:

• 40, male, east coast US
• Married nearly a decade to someone I started seeing in my 20s
• No children or the desire (anymore) to have any
• Can get quite busy during normal work hours, so likely mostly available on evenings/weekends

The sordid situation:

• She suffers from a terrible and debilitating psychological disorder I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy, which I am of course happy to discuss more in private, but which has turned me into little more than an unglorified caretaker
• Which means zero affection, empathy, warmth, kind words, let alone any kind of intimacy for so many years I've given up keeping track and have genuinely forgotten what any of that even feels like
• Basically distant roommates at this point (i.e. separate rooms on opposite ends of the house), so have a surprising and (from what I've come to understand) unusual amount of privacy, space, and presence to devote to this
• Honestly, unsure where I fall on the "not trying to change either of our situations" scale. I worry she'd not be able to survive (literally) on her own/without me - and, yet, there's nothing else I dream of more fervently and frequently

The preposterous proposal:

• I'll warn you, I can be terribly greedy when allowed to truly feel safe and seen. If we get there, I'll want all of you, and will want to give you as much of me as we both physically have the time and energy for. Not looking for a casual texting boredom buddy, not looking for a spouse-bashing tennis match, not looking for an empty, vapid conversation with no direction.
• Don't insult either of us by using AI to write to me. I'll know. We all know. What do you honestly think will come of that?
• Please show that you are capable of investing more than a "hey" to 40 different men here hoping one of us is desperate enough to bite and carry the entire conversation himself. You'll find me to be neither.
• Be yourself. Real. Ugly. Raw. Vulnerable in ways you maybe haven't been in years. I find all of those things immensely attractive.
• I don't care what you look like and don't want you to have physical requirements to your emotional availability (or, at least, kindly explain to me why so many here demand their strictly online will never meet in person potential partners here must be of a certain height)
• I'll need you to have some semblance of evening and/or weekend privacy for phone calls, ideally that last into the wee hours and absolutely ruin our collective sleep schedules (mine's already in shambles, so nothing to worry about there) or the ability to be creative around that. I can't invest longterm into a textbox, personally.
• We're all severely undersexed, exhaustively pent up, and would likely fuck anything that smiled at us at the grocery store - let's try to show some restraint in getting to know each other first, yeah? Buy me dinner and laugh at my jokes before you pounce on me, I'm a gentleman.
• Know how to match effort. If you think a single line with glaring grammatical errors is a considerate reciprocation of sixteen bullet points and the intention behind them, I'll be genuinely curious to know how you think life works and will admire your courage.
• I'd ideally like to chat here for a bit, feel each other out, then be able to migrate elsewhere better suited for one-on-one conversation and phone dates. Oh, and you'll like those if you like the quietly confident, soft-spoken and soothing yet devastatingly direct type.