My 19F gf(?) wants to spend too much time on the phone with me 22M
Pretty much as big of a non-issue as imaginable, but still wanted to see if I could get any advice. For a brief background me and my gf but basically ex GF are long distance and had dated for almost 11 months but broke up, but are still on good terms as of now, hence the (?) it just still feels like we're in a relationship. That being said, she always, and I mean always wants to spend every single moment together on the phone. I'm assuming its cuz we're long distance, but it is genuinely excessive. I know this because she has told me about a few occasions where she's been in 400-500+ hour long discord calls just casually, and I think thats how she expects our phone calls to function too. Theres usually only a few hours between when I end a call, and yes I almost always am the one to decide it's time to hang up, and when she's asking if we can call again. And while I do want to talk to her and give her lots of attention because I love her, I'm just truly a big phone call hater. My friends know never to call me unless its there's something immediate needing to be discussed, and I only like to let those important phone calls lasts no more than a few minutes. Otherwise, texting should cover everything else. I also do some craft hobbies, sewing and patch making etc. on occasion, a few hours for a couple days out of the week, and I like to be in my zone when I work, just throw on videos and turn the brain off. But she likes to call and watch me work, which on it's own I don't mind, but the call makes it so I can't hear videos playing, and I'm a terrible multitasker so if she wants to talk to me while I'm working I get distracted and have to pay full attention to what she's saying. All that being said, I don't want it to come off like I think she's annoying or makes me unhappy in any substantial way, she's an amazing sweet girl and like I said absolutely I enjoy talking to her, it's just the medium of phone calling and the constant nature of it. I wouldn't mind a phone call for a few hours while I'm not doing anything a couple days a weeks, but this over abundance is making me want to refuse them entirely. Long story short I'm whining about a huge nothing burger first world problem, I know it's not really a big deal, but id like a little advice on how I can communicate gently to her I kinda hate phone calls, especially constant hours long ones, without hurting her feelings. Shes very mature and handles these kinds of talks well, but I just want to make sure I dont hurt her feelings because it really seems like being on the phone with me is one of if not her most favorite thing, like its a legitimate need, if her trying to make that happen all day every day didn't show that clearly lol. Whats just the nicest way I can say I really appreciate all the time you want to spend with me talking and hanging out, but phone calls just aren't my thing, and id like to spend some amount of my time doing other things, I'm sorry. I really just can not stress enough how much these phone calls mean to her. I don't want to selfish either. Any advice is appreciated, take care.
Posted Aug 1, 2026, 3:47 AM UTC