Having misophonia is living in a never ending survival horror.

Constantly scared, constantly expecting danger, never relaxed, no peace. Like a scared animal, you are surviving and slowly loosing your sanity. Using whatever tools you have to make it through the day. And you are completely alone in this, no one understands, no one sees it, no one takes you seriously, no one helps you while you're fighting with it every day. It's a lonely and difficult path, I don't want this. Why do I have this, why does it even exists?

I developed a new big trigger this year, I've been exposed to it for like 8-9 months now, I can feel that it affected my mental health, I feel so much worse and I startle often because of it. And when I know that I won't be dealing with it for some time, I feel so relieved.
I'm dealing with it alone and I'm so lost, people can be so mean. Misophonia can be isolating, I hate it so so much. I don't understand, I just don't understand why I have to deal with this, why must I endure all this suffering. Why can't I have peace in my stupid life? What have I done to deserve this?