venting a lil bit

i’m not sure what i thought id get from my age gap relationship, i think i just wanted love, understanding and mutual nurturing. i did think i might be able to find sort of a father figure or authority figure i could respect and love too. i wish i still could :( instead it felt like stretching too thin and making myself smaller to be someone’s perfect do-over. it is sad. i just want to be someone’s special princess. ☹️ at 21 maybe its too late for me