I'm now in my 7th yr in my degree. For starters I was once a brilliant student in my high school years, I'm always a top academic student with passion in math and science. I've chosen to get a BS Physics in college, and that's when things go downhill. Most of my grades in my 1st yr are good, and a failed subject ruined my entire college, and that is I've failed my calculus 1. It's a devastating moment for me as a brilliant student in highschool to fail calculus 1 in my 1st yr, like I'm drowning in embarrassment and shame that I failed, it's very frustrating that I failed a subject that I know in my self I can easily pass. After that failure I pretty much lost all motivation in my study, like I've lost all sparks, I've doubted myself as incapable and a loser. Adding to the situation was the pandemic, I've confined myself after that period, I'm not going out with my friends anymore, who graduated on time and have a pretty stable career. I was able to get grades in my core subjects but this lingering feeling and regret that if I have passed calculus 1 I could have graduated on time and have a career. For a couple of years I've lost the passion to continue, like I'm just an empty shell attending school, the reason I'm in 7th yr is that I'm failed minor subjects, I'm procrastinating, I'm delaying stuffs, and slacking off. I've shifted my focus on other things like machine learning. Like I'm constantly fighting this feeling of being a loser and a failure. 

For the last 2 yrs I've been fighting depression and anxiety, thinking that I might have failed and wasted my twenties, wasted years. Now I have two subjects remaining to graduate, one major and one minor. But even though I'm about to be this close to graduating, I'm still feeling empty, feels like I've accomplished nothing. 

I'm 26 and I feel like a complete failure in life