how do you get to a point with God where he actually changes your heart/ways

have maybe kinda been curious and seeking Christianity a little but maybe have ran into some difficulties and such, maybe kinda feel like my ways aren't exactly as of rn with Christ, still feel the anger and subtle sometimes hatred of like religious things and I maybe like kinda like sin and maybe kinda also sometimes feel like I hope God ISN'T real and maybe also kinda like not rly liking the fact that my life would have to change from my lazy doing nothing all day kinda stuff, when might God like actually change my ways/heart am I maybe just like not rly able to form a relationship w Jesus/become Christian what should I do u think? I have prayed to Jesus but if anything maybe it's slightly lessened? MAYBE

but still maybe kinda just have some stuff