am i connecting the dots or making stuff up?

hi all, i’ve recently been diagnosed with ocd, which was an explanation for a lot of my mental struggles growing up. i am still learning about it and struggling to find coping mechanisms than can help my mental health

i am in a long term relationship which my boyfriend, who is wonderful and extremely attentive to my anxiety/ocd needs. however, i often find myself triggered whenever the discussion of cheating/adult content consuming comes up(whether seeing it on tv, topics in songs, etc.) as i have had really negative past experiences and relationships that left me feeling betrayed and not good enough.

when these things come up i tend to spiral, placing gaps in my boyfriends texts as times when he could have been cheating. or when he says goodnight but is active on his phone after saying goodnight i assume he is consuming adult content. rationally i know this is ridiculous, as i also do things like this(like scrolling a bit after saying goodnight) and he has never given me actual proof to think he does any of these things. we’ve talked about our distaste for both topics(just a personal preference!) when i find a gap/question that i don’t have an answer to my mind automatically jumps to the worst conclusion. we were playing games on his laptop the other day and i think he accidentally clicked the incognito button, i’m not sure, but i immediately thought that it was from him hiding something. i left it alone for too long to bring it up anymore and just ask him.

lately i find myself piecing things together and i can’t tell if they are actually connecting dots or if its my ocd. it’s exhausting and leaves me so distressed. i’ve talked to my boyfriend about some things but he’s adjusting to a new job and is really tired lately, and i don’t want to accuse him of anything. in my mind it is real and i genuinely think it’s happening.

it’s every little thing, i get triggered by EVERYTHING lately. i am so scared to be betrayed or left alone and any gap in information leaves room for me to think he is doing something that would hurt me.

is there any advice or coping mechanism recommendations you guys can provide? i can answer any questions to provide more info