Chemical pregnancy compared to my 20 Week TFMR

My SIL told my husband and I this week that she had a miscarriage. We of course felt awful for her and were offering support/compassion. As she continued to open up about it, she shared she thought she was maybe about 4 weeks along, then later said something about how she "knew we would know how she felt" because of our TFMR experience back in November/December.

Up to that point, I hadn't even thought about our situation in comparison to hers, but when she said that I felt really triggered. Ever since losing our baby, I have tried soooo hard to focus on the intent of what people said to us while we were grieving (since so many people say stupid things) and not comparing my situation to others' (why did they get three healthy babies but not me, etc.) That comment just really through me off and I ended up sobbing the whole way home. Obviously losing a pregnancy is sad but comparing it to the loss of a baby we had seen, heard the heartbeat of, and even felt moving just felt like a gut punch.

Being a member of this "club" is the absolute hardest thing I've ever done. It feels so lonely, and just when I start to feel somewhat normal, something happens that sends me 5 steps backwards.