I was probably asking for it

Havent posted much on reddit in awhile, this story is party why. I was really into taking suggestions from other people on here in several different subs. I was (and still am) into expo stuff, some flashing, fucking strangers, blah blah you get it. I end up doing a challenge where i try to find a pair of guys together in a mall or something, and i need to suck them off that day. I've done plenty of stuff like this before and it hasnt been a problem, and this was no different. I talk with them for a couple minutes, then say something like "sooo can i suck either of you off?"

Something kinda stupid like that was my go to because it always left them speechless lol, anyways it worked and we went back to one of their cars and i gave them head. They didnt want to stop there though, like i said normally im fine with going further and fucking someone like that. They looked pretty good and had solid dicks. But i was tired and just not feeling well and just wanted to go home. They didnt let me, they physically held me in their car and kept trying to talk me into it while groping me and stuff.

It was the first time i really felt like i wasnt in control since i started doing stupid challenges like that, and it really freaked me out. But yeah they both stopped asking and just started pulling my clothes off enough that they could get inside me. They held me down in their car and took turns on me. i had to walk back to my car with puffy eyes and cum on my clothes after that.

so yeah it fucked me up for a little bit, didnt use reddit for awhile, but i never stopped thinking about it. Ive done cnc stuff and some rapey sex with people i trust, but the real thing was just so different. i dont reeeally want to be raped again, but at the same time i cant stop thinking about what happened? i even masturbate to it from time to time

and yes i did go to the police awhile after