I keep dwelling on what my “friend” told me about my kitty Bella, who passed at the age of 14.

I lost the love of my life January 2025. I am absolutely certain I have PTSD from losing her as I’ve had other losses that have not affected me like this. I am still to this very day, completely lost and devastated. Like I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve questioned if I can even go on without her.

I had adopted her from the shelter as a baby who was very sick, less than 2 lbs as she was being treated for a URI and found in an alley. Estimates to be less than 2 months old.

My Bella made it to 14 years old in October of 2024, and I lost her in January of 2025.

I saw some friends last year, in December for the holiday. One who is a volunteer for a cat rescue to knew about Bella and when we sat for dinner, she asked me why I was still grieving a year later. She asked me this because she saw that I no longer had that light in me… she had not seen me in months, prior to losing Bella. She mentioned her daughter lost her husband and was “ok after 6 months”, but I’m not normal because I’m still grieving the loss of a cat a year later. This was from a friend who should understand of all people, rescuing cats.

She also said Bella at 14 “died too young”, and it’s on “the younger side that she died”, which made me feel worse and question if I did enough for my girl and that maybe I could have done more to keep her here longer.

Here I am, over 1.5 years after I lost the most precious thing that lit up my entire life and I still question if I could have done more, and that maybe I would still have her in my arms right now.