Anxiety and insomnia is killing me (looking for support)

Im laying in my bed crying while typing this, praying to be healed, I am very grateful for anyone who takes the time to read this today because it is going to be long. Back story I grew up with a lot of traumas, got bullied badly in middle school leading to me trying to end it, then struggled with mental health issues ever since. I am F 21, 6 months ago I was going to cosmetology school making my way to my dream career, I’ve struggled with anxiety for years specifically health anxiety but it started getting out of control. I had a huge health scare that landed me in the ER twice, multiple urgent care visits despite being fully checked and told I was okay, I thought I was dying my nervous system broke and I stopped sleeping, my anxiety was out of control, I went to the mental health center multiple times, I had to drop out of school, for and my severe insomnia struggle started, the root of this struggle is anxiety but it become anxiety around sleep which is the worst anxiety I’ve experienced because it interrupts a vital human function. For the last 6 months I’ve been struggling hard, I barley sleep my anxiety is out the roof I’ve been working with therapist and psychiatrist and have tried over 18 medications, I’m at a low point, and I just finally got a job after 6 months of doing nothing, and the first day was extremely hard because of my anxiety I was literally shaking, and I have to worry about the fact that I barley sleep on top of everything, I just don’t see a way out, not even benzo helps me sleep anymore, the only thing I haven’t stuck too is a antidepressant (Zoloft) I only tried it for one day a few months ago because of fear it will worsen my sleep, I use trazodone nightly but it barley even helps I’m lucky if I get 5 hours of broken sleep, this week has been horrible only 1-3 hours most nights I just feel broken I need hope, I want my life back so bad, I want to become a makeup artists, and have a family one day, but with my severe anxiety and insomnia it feels like my life is over.