Being Touch deprived

(Before saying anything. My English isnt great because I'm from Germany)

I'm like. Really really touch deprived man. And it's not even funny anymore. Its not that I only like touch. It's that I need it. And no. I always hear "get a weighted blanket" or "get a massage" "just hug a friend" but no. Ive bought a weighted blanket. Didn't help (got real good sleep tho) got a massage (was nice. Didn't work neither) and I can't hug my friends because when it comes to touch in really shy. Most of my friends hate body contact. And since I not only want but need to respect their boundaries I can just randomly hug or touch them (when I say touch I do not mean it in a freaky way lol). I struggle with a chronic panic anxiety disorder and also depression. I had a gf a few months ago. Getting this touch. Cuddling. Holding onto each other...that wasn't just comforting. It was an escape. I have really really bad coping mechanisms so cuddling up with someone and getting all that affection. It was really special. And (ofc this is a really really exaggerated example) it's kinda like feeling real shit. Doing crack. Feeling the most Dopamine you've ever felt and then stoping cold turkey.

What can I do? At this point I'm just tired man.