just looking to get input/vent.

Hi all, I’ve been on T for almost 4 years. Had top surgery 3 years ago and honestly love my life. Except one glaringly obvious fact that I cannot stand to pee. Try as I may it consumes my thoughts with everything I do. I’m I guess what you’d call a shy peer. My body simply will not relax if I get too in my head about it. And when it comes to being in the men’s rest room I cannot get it done. I never really had an issue in the women’s restroom but now I’m just too high strung.
It’s all seriously my biggest all consuming thought- where will I piss. I’ve tried STPs but the same issue arrises, if something isn’t right it takes me like 2 minutes before my body will relax enough to pee. I know they take practice but I’ve also never had huge success with not getting pee in places I don’t want it. I’ve gotten extremely discouraged to the point where this seems like this is my only solution.

I work in the outdoor industry mainly in recreation right now but I’m looking to get into what would be considered more blue collar or wildland firefighting where either outside is the bathroom or an urban area where the only bathroom is public restrooms. The jobs I have currently are seasonal and both places I feel comfortable with my situation but I don’t make a lot of money. This is honestly the biggest thing holding me back. I would instantly be outed in spaces where I’d like to remain stealth.

I’m not dysphoric about much. But this certainly takes the cake in a big way. I don’t really feel the need for implants, just looking for the smoothest recovery because I have some pretty physically demanding jobs however usually have about a month to month and a half of time off in the spring I could use for recovery. I know that there would likely need to be revisions in order to STP but if my stream was even a little more predictable I’d feel a lot better about using a STP device.

I live in Minnesota and have state health insurance. Anyone from MN have experience with surgery here?
Thanks for reading.