One of my (ex) besties..

Hey folks,
Just wanted to share something that happened recently because it’s been sitting in my head for a while.
I recently graduated, and during my degree I was lucky enough to do multiple research internships abroad at different labs. It was honestly an amazing experience. I learned a lot, met great professors, and got opportunities I’m really grateful for. At the same time, it was pretty lonely.
When I came back to my country earlier this year, most of my friend circle had already moved on. Somehow I got closer to one of my classmates because she was one of the few people I still knew on campus.
She wanted to go abroad for research too, so I genuinely tried to help her. I shared everything I could - emails I’d sent, contacts, application tips, how I approached professors, things to expect, settling-in advice… basically everything I’d learned from my own experience. I never expected anything in return.
Around March/April she got a verbal offer from a lab, but it was later rescinded. She called me crying, and I spent a long time talking to her, trying to motivate her not to give up. Eventually she applied elsewhere and got another position.
She didn’t tell me until she had the official written offer. Honestly, that’s completely fine. I also believe in not announcing things too early because sometimes opportunities fall through.
Around the same time, I also had a chance to go abroad again. My previous professor wanted me back, but I wasn’t sure if my university documents would be enough for a visa since I only had my final marksheets and my provisional degree hadn’t been issued yet because of administrative delays.
Since she was already going through the visa process, I asked if she could check with the consulate about the document requirements and let me know as well. She said sure.
Fast forward…
She had already confirmed everything, applied for her visa, received it, and never mentioned any of it. Instead, she’d ask me random questions about settling in abroad, and I’d happily answer them, thinking we were both still figuring things out.
Then one day my university announced that our documents were finally ready for collection. I called her and said, “Hey, let’s go tomorrow. We can collect the documents together and maybe apply for visas.”
She agreed.
The next day I texted asking what time she’d be coming.
She replied, “I’m in Vietnam.”
I was completely confused.
Turns out she was on a layover and was already on her way to her destination.
I asked, “Wait… you already got your visa?”
She said, “Yeah.”
I just said, “Oh… okay. That’s great. All the best,” and ended the call.
A few days later I checked in to see how she was doing and also asked when she planned to come back to collect her university documents, since you normally have to be physically present to clear all the departments.
Instead, she asked if I could do the entire clearance process on her behalf. I said I’d have to check if it was even possible and whether I’d have time.
That was basically the last meaningful conversation we had.
Since then… nothing.
Maybe I’m overthinking it, but the whole thing left me feeling like I was only useful while she needed help. Once she got where she wanted to be, it felt like I just disappeared from her life.
I’m not upset that she didn’t tell me every update or that she got an opportunity before I did. I’m genuinely happy for her. What bothers me is the feeling of being kept around only when I was helpful.
Has anyone else experienced friendships like this? Where you realize later that the relationship felt a lot more one-sided than you initially thought?

Edit 1: About the timeline - When she first got the verbal offer, I was genuinely so happy for her. I congratulated her, and then she basically disappeared for the next 10–15 days. At the time I just assumed she was busy or didn’t want to jinx anything. Looking back, maybe that was the first sign that I should’ve paid attention to.