How do I bring myself to do anything?

I am an actual waste of space. I can’t do anything right. I can’t ask for help, I can’t stop myself, I can’t even end it right. I am genuinely useless. I want help, but I can’t bring myself to ask for it. I don’t have any motivation for anything, I can barely even make myself get on my phone. I feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. I can’t go to my parents because they’ll blame me. I can’t go to a counselor because they’ll tell my parents. I can’t even >!kms!< right. Genuinely, what do I do now? How do I move on from here? I can’t bring myself to call anyone. I can’t tell any of my family or friends. How do I go on? What choices can I make to pull myself out of the hole i’ve made? Even this is a struggle to press post on. I can’t do anything. I’m delirious, afraid, and something I can’t put into words. I feel pathetic even doing this. I just need some guidance. Something is better than nothing. I’ve been in this state for a while now, but this is the worst it’s been. It can’t get any worse, at least not while I am alive. Sorry for wasting your time, it’s a lot. I don’t know if this is even the right place, but I have nowhere else. Again, sorry to whoever reads this. I’m really out of it right now, so sorry if it sounds bad.