My (29F) partner (29M) nitpicks often and it is starting to impact our relationship

My partner and I moved in together and he’s slowly been nitpicking and criticising me more and more.

Sometimes he will get frustrated at things that are out of my control or I feel are genuine mistakes. For example, tipping over my cup of tea (which i obviously clear up) or accidentally booking the wrong dates for a show but fixing it immediately- albeit with a small fee, being 5-10 minutes late because of my train being delayed.

Just the other day he made some really hurtful comments out of nowhere. My friend reached out as she’s going through something and asked if I could meet with her. I was emotionally exhausted and said I couldn’t but i could see her the next day or day after. I told my partner what she was going through and that i felt sad for her. He replied saying it was a shame I was leaving her to deal with this all alone and maybe this is why all my friendships are ending. I used to have really bad anxiety and I’ve worked hard to overcome that, but this is exactly the type of thoughts I would have about myself in the past and I don’t want to go back to thinking so harshly about myself.

The thing is, I am quite easy going person and he is very detail orientated, but I have survived pretty successfully I might add for the last 29 years. His constant criticisms make me feel like I’m some sort of fuck up or a bumbling idiot. But apparently there’s a whole list of things he’s holding back on, as I’ve asked him to stop giving me unsolicited advice unless it directly relates to our relationship.

It makes it hard to enjoy the little every day moments and makes me wonder if I really want to build something with this person. In my view, mistakes happen and they are part of what makes life rich. We can laugh it off, do better next time and move on. But with him I feel I’m not allowed to make mistakes and the feeling of being constantly assessed is becoming too much. When I’ve brought it up, he reacts by saying he doesn’t want to hurt me but that he needs to feel like he can give me advice to improve. How can i show him that this behaviour is truly hurtful and is impacting our relationship?