51 - M4F #DC #MD #VA - A good sense of humor goes a long way. Musings on “pickiness” and the commodification of our fantasies.

First of all, this isn’t going to be that funny. Most of the time, yes, I can make you laugh your panties off but not today. Today you get to see that there is in fact a real person on the other end of this sometimes soulless experience that is internet affairing. Or at least attempted internet affairing.

I’d say most of us, all of us even, are here looking for something we can’t get at home. Maybe we’re neglected, unheard, unsatisfied or worse, unloved or abused. Maybe you’re just here for the rush, in which case, this isn’t for you. Honestly, you kinda suck.

You would think that with so many people here who feel enough of a sense of dissatisfaction in their relationships to cheat, that they would at least understand why they do it. And yet, I can’t help but wonder at how we all seem to be too “picky”.

For the record, I don’t like that word. It’s a red flag to me. It screams selfish. It says, “I want what I want and if I can’t have it, well, it’s you that isn’t good enough, not me”. I prefer the term standards, although this does also lend itself to a certain level of commodification of each other. But to me, standards means there is a complex collection of traits that isn’t so specific as to be self-defeating but also doesn’t have us sacrificing our souls in pursuit of an unreal perfect fantasy. Sadly, I’d say the vast majority of my interactions here have been with the “picky” types. Some of them laughably out of their small pond but too lacking in self awareness to know any different.

The countless stories from women who complain about the men who want nothing but a warm hole, or who are ugly or f@t; and the equally countless stories from the men who can’t seem to find a “real” woman. Sadly, I’ve found many real women and they’re pretty disappointing. For the record, I’ve found a few which didn’t work out for a variety of reasons but the other 99%… not great people. I can’t lie. Not sure why I would expect more from people here but I don’t know.. Something something eternal optimism. 🤷‍♂️

Anyway, I’m incredibly grateful to have grown up in an era without internet dating. A place where attraction was obvious, compatibility came as you got to know each other and we didn’t assess each other through our limited little instagram induced “are they good enough” algorithms. I mean we did. It was called dating. It took more than 30 seconds. That’s not what this sub is though. It’s not often a place to have meaningful conversations or even meet people with similar interests. Like if it’s obvious from my post that I have a sense of humor and I can write like a stud, why are you dm’ing me if your sentences are 3 words long and as matter of fact as an AI resume screener. It’s a place to make snap judgments as fast as possible, right?

Oh you’re not 6’ tall with a 6 figure job and a family you neglect while out here trying to get some strange 🐈, well then you must not be worthy of me. Because I’m “picky”. Well no wonder your SO doesn’t want to hang out with you. How tedious you must be. But it’s all good because the odds of you being 5’4”, 100lbs with natural DD’s and a face like Scarlett Johansson are also 0%. None of us is actually that hot and it would be f@cking refreshing if you all could check your fantasies about who you are and what you “deserve”, at the door. Maybe stop treating people like a commodity and have and actual conversation.