To my "mother" about your husband

Im writing this at 5 am in the morning because as i was about to fall asleep, a memory randomly popped into my head. It's a memory that will come up at least once a month, and i don't exactly know why. But it's a memory that, for some reason, this time pissed me off so much that i couldn't sleep without typing this up.

I've been no contact with you for almost a decade now. And it's been the BEST 10 years of my life. A little under half give out take a few of my total of almost 28 years on this planet. That's sad as fuck don't you think? That these 10 years WITHOUT you and your husband abusing me have been the happiest I've ever been?

You were my MOTHER, I'm biologically hardwired to love you, to cherish you, to miss you. But that day you let him kick me out at 17 in just a tank top and shorts only a couple hours before sunset? Just because i finally snapped from the roughly 13-14 years of verbal, emotional, physical, and SEXUAL abuse. Just because i said "You're right mark what the FUCK could i know?"

Yeah that day was the start of my freedom. I looked back as i walked away to my boyfriends house. Not because i was hopeful that you were coming to get me, to say you went too far. No, i was terrified i would look back and see your car. But i walked 2 1/2 miles barefoot on the scorching tar crack covered roads and then on the painful, uneven, and sharp gravel back country roads.

He and his family weren't home when i arrived so i limped over to our friends right next door. It was dark out by this time. I told her what happened, asked to borrow her phone to message you for my things. My school clothes, my work clothes, my school laptop, and a few personal things. Things YOU didn't buy me.

Was your reply of concern for me? Relief? Worry? An apology is some sort? No. No you reply was that i "hurt your fathers feelings" and that i "can't just waltz in whenever you want and take whatever i want" and that i would "need to apologize" if i wanted my things.

Well fun fact bitch. Your husband is a fucking PEDOPHILE. I honestly don't know if you know just how fucking disgusting your husband is. I don't fucking care how much a parent/ adult thinks that their child isn't bathing properly. When they start puberty you do NOT need to be in the bath/shower WITH THEM. WITH THEM NAKED AND FORCEFULLY SCRUBBING THEN CLEAN TO YOUR STANDARDS.

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE A 15+ FEMALE THEY ARE NOT RELATED TOO.

That also don't need to be forcing "cuddles" and cupping their 15+ stepdaughters tits. Or the most egregious instance, which is the memory that started this letter/rant.

They don't need to force a cuddle with their 17-18 year old stepdaughter in just their BOXERS. Only to suddenly fucking FLASH THEM ON PURPOSE AND SAY AND I FUCKING QUOTE "Oh its half hard do you want to touch it?"

And if course I'm disgusted on SEVERAL LEVELS because 1) i genuinely HATE this so called man. My hatred for him makes AMs hatred look insignificant. 2) he's raised he since i was 3-4!!! 3) i was in a several year relationship, and he KNEW THIS 4) YOU'RE FUCKING MARRIED TO MY "MOM".

So i say no and he PUSHES and asks IF IM SURE!?!

I REITERATE THAT I'M SURE AND HE JUST SHRUGS. AND NOTHING EVER HAPPENS. I NEVER SAID ANYTHING AND IT'S BECAUSE YOU LET HIM GET AWAY WITH SO MUCH BULLSHIT FOR OVER 10 YEARS THAT I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D EVER TAKE MY SIDE OVER HIS

Hell you didn't take my side when i told you at SIX. FUCKING SIX that i woke up one night to find one of my older brothers touching me. I remember your EXACT WORDS all these years later "don't make up such things, i could lose your brother"

In WHAT world does a SIX YEAR OLD make something like that up?

Or when you didn't take my side SEVERAL time when you had a neighbor watch us to get ready for school. And she literally tried to stop me from taking my yugioh cards to school. And when i unintentionally grabbed them off the counter by muscle memory she LITERALLY HELD ME WHILE SHE TRIED TO SHOVE HER HANDS INDY MY COAT POCKET TO TAKE MY CARDS!?

So i did what anyone would do and slapped her to get her off me? Btw i was in HS, 16 at the youngest and that was no such rule against me taking things like that. And she slapped me hard enough that there was an imprint and i fell to the floor. Did you care that she was literally assaulting me and i simply was defending myself. No all you cared was that she was an adult and i a child. You made ME apologize to HER.

The same woman that earlier that year you FORCED me to give her MY PHONE because hers broke. And when i got it back like 6 months later it had SEVERE water damage. She said it was broken when she got it and you blamed me!? That was my 1st phone and i had it for less time than she did but because she was an adult you took her side.

There's other instances of me doing nothing wrong but an adult having an issue with me and you taking their side JUST because they're an adult but if i keep listing your fucking failures id be typing for hours.

So yeah i never fucking said anything even though i should have, because you proved to me over and over and over that you wouldn't take my side.

You're dating a genuine fucking pedophile. And honestly i don't know if it would make you suffer more to live in ignorance, or to find out and have to deal with the knowledge. Would you even believe it? If you did would you stay with him? The man that molested and tried to fuck your not legal/barely legal daughter because he's too fucking addicted to pornhub?

Knowing you, you probably would you putrid skank. You always loved him and my brothers he gave you more than me. Hell you even loved my older siblings more than me.

You have pictures upon pictures of everyone's childhood but me. My boyfriends MOM who only could have pics of me from roughly like 4th grade on has more pics of me by ACCIDENT. Because i just so happened to be in the shot near HER kid.

That's fucking pathetic. You're fucking pathetic. The only reason this letter ISN'T being sent to you is i refuse to break my no contact with you. And i fucking hate you for that.

I love my extended family but know so little of them because you'd always refuse to tell me much about them. So by cutting you off I've also cut them off. You made me miss my grandpas last few moments you skank.

Because you couldn't even be half of a half decent mother I've lost my family.

Go fuck yourself and burn in Hell with your pedophile husband. I hope his miniscule twig is worth it.