How do I stop making my partner my entire world? Long distance feels unbearable.

Fair warning: This is a long post because I think the context matters.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years (with a 2-year breakup in between, though we were still in love the whole time, so it never really felt over to me).

Before him, I was extremely independent. I never let people in, always had my guard up, and found it easier to deal with everything alone. He's the only person I've ever been completely vulnerable with because he's the only person who's ever made me feel truly safe.

When we got back together, he moved to my city, found a job here, and started living nearby. Around that time, I was in one of the darkest periods of my life.

I was dealing with severe depression and anxiety. I'd go days without sleeping, barely eat, wouldn't shower, and would just lie in bed. He never tried to "fix" me, but he stayed beside me through all of it, and over time, I slowly got better.

We both appeared for the same competitive exam. He cleared it, but I had a panic attack during mine and completely froze. Walking out of that exam centre, I genuinely wanted to die. I spent days crying and not eating, and the only thing that stopped me from doing something irreversible was the thought of what it would do to my family and to him.

Eventually I started looking for a job, and that wasn't much easier. After months of applications and almost no responses, I finally got a couple of offers, but neither was a good fit. That's when he asked me to replace him at his company. He spent weeks teaching me the AI side of his work after office hours, referred me internally, helped me prepare for interviews, and I got the job.

From then on, we spent almost every waking hour together. We worked together, commuted together, came home together. Even when I struggled with the new job and broke down constantly, he never made me feel like I was alone.

A month before he had to leave for document verification and his eventual posting, he moved into my flat. Living together wasn't perfect—we argued over silly things like every couple does—but looking back, what I remember most is how deeply he cared for me.

He'd let me sleep a little longer every morning because he knew I was exhausted. He'd make breakfast, pack our lunches, take care of most of the housework before I even noticed it needed doing, and every night he'd give me a full body massage because anxiety left my whole body aching. If I woke up in the middle of the night panicking, he'd wake up instantly, hold me until I calmed down, and stay awake until I fell asleep again. Even when I was being difficult or unreasonable, he always chose kindness first.

Two days ago, he left.

Going from spending 24 hours a day together to suddenly not having him here has been one of the hardest things I've experienced.

Everything reminds me of him. I don't want to go to the office because we worked together. I don't want to come home because he's not here. I've been crying almost constantly, and there's this heaviness in my chest that I can't seem to shake.

Soon he'll be posted around 2,500 km away. We both have work-from-office jobs, so seeing each other often isn't going to be possible.

This isn't about doubting our relationship. I know we'll make the distance work.

It's about me.

Somewhere along the way, he became my home. I don't think I'm dependent because he wanted me to be. I think I'm dependent because he loved me through the worst period of my life, and now I don't know how to exist without constantly reaching for him.

I don't want my entire identity to revolve around my relationship. I want to build my own routines, make friends, have hobbies, and create a life that feels full even when he's far away. I want to miss him without feeling like I'm falling apart.

If you've gone through something similar, how did you navigate it? How did you build your own life while still loving your partner just as deeply?