Ik it's getting bad again and yet I like it. I don't want it to get better.

It's so weird but this is the only place i feel familiar with. I thought i was doing better but really I had found something to obsess over and now that the obsession is over, my mental health is getting bad again. Just like how it was. But i don't really care this time. It feels good somehow like I'm so hopeless but it's a familiar hell? At least I know how to be here. I don't really feel much tbh.

Just how bad does it need to get so people can care about me? And be concerned? I don't care about that either anymore. Oh well.