30F and 32M When and how did you know when your marriage is over?

I 30F and my husband 32M, we've been in a relationship for almost 13 years now and turning 3 years into marriage and has a kid is into a deep shit now.

We all have ups and downs on all the things you can imagine into a long term relationship. We're not clean either. At 3 years into relationship he cheated- I forgive and forget everything. At 7th year, I cheated- not fucking with someone but for almost falling I love with someone. Of course, as a girl I shared this with my friends and honestly I already forgot whom I shared this with.vmy husband learnt about this only after 5 years after it took place and I thought he forgave me already about it now.

Yesterday we were happy, strong family until I woke up today. He logged in into my accounts and tried to dig dirt and details about my disloyalty happened 7 years ago and he full blown erupted to me like I was dirty, liar and a cheater.

Words like I'm a cockroach, I'm a whore, liar, cheater has been said like it had happened yesterday only because I answered his question undetailed. In my defense, I only answer to the best of my ability and knowledge. I have been occupied by a lot of things too prior. He doesn't have a job and is the primary care giver of our child while I work and do business at the same time.

My mind is so occupied already in how we love and survive and I been working non stop just to be a good wife and provider and here, I will be what? Crucified by the mistake I did 7 years ago?

He said that he feels icky when he tried imagining kissing me, he feels disgusted to be with me.

When did you know that the marriage is over and how do you deal with it with people who has depressive and suicidal tendencies.