Me (22F) and my boyfriend (22M) have deep ideological differences + very different future plans. Do we a have shot at a future together? In need of real advice.

Hello, me (22F) and my bf (22M) have been together for almost 3 years now (about to hit the 3 year mark this November). I don't know where to start and how to even begin. It might be messy and chaotic to read this post but we desperately need help. It was his idea to ask reddit for help so here we are.This is going to be a bit long so I'll just make a list for ease of reading.

• In the end of July we were actually discussing about something political that was happening in our country and it all started from that conversation. During that conversation we found that we have very different political beliefs. We both had difficulties understanding each others reasons and beliefs at first and it was a shock to both of us. I won't say that even now we agree on the same things but we respect each others beliefs. Due to the shock factor we were a bit heated but I wouldn't say that we shove our beliefs down each others throat. The confusions came from not being able to understand each others reasons for believing what we believe. This conversation was a catalyst. Now, we might be able to put these aside but I can't help but think of the future. Like, both of our families have totally opposite beliefs and I worry that they might not get along and that will lead of tension between both our families and ultimately between us. I know that its is naive to think that politics doesn't divide people because it does and I fear that this difference is something that even we don't fully agree or digest yet.

• Secondly, we both also have different views on religion. He believes in god and I don't. That too was a hard pill to swallow. Yes we did know about this when we got together.

He believes in religion and God and I don't. His whole family does too
and my family doesn't. How are our families supposed to get along? Like what? Like these are
conversations that are bound to happen and I don't want either of our families shit talking
about each other. He also doesn't care that I don't believe in God but I am the first atheist he
has met and he finds my views new and different.

• Now, due to our religious differences there are things that will cause issues in our future after marriage. Even though I am atheist, I live in a predominantly religious country (SE Asia). There are things that we have to do after marriage like rituals and all that I don't particularly believe in but I am in different to it. This was a very hard and heated conversation.

I wanted him to know this all, that these are my beliefs and all and this is what I think about
these things. If it was in my own hands I would not do a single of these traditions and rituals
and all but due to where we live I have to, I am sorry it's very to explain. I am indifferent to
these things and I told him that I don't mind doing all that by his side as I love him. But, it a
hard pill to swallow. Like some of these things are ESSENTIAL and INTEGRAL in our society and
culture, so like I have to do those but I just wanted him to know, like hey this is what I think of
this.

• Career differences. Currently we are both Software developers at the same company. In the future he want to grow in the IT field and I want to have my own business in my own home state. We are both from the same state but different areas (quite far). He wants to leave our state and settle outside due to job opportunities and I don't want to leave our state as I lobe it here and my business is going to be here too. Now, hypothetically, even I don't go down the road of business (unlikely scenario but maybe it can happen) I still would prefer that we live in our state, like after marriage. But he doesn't want to and I understand him, this is what he wants with his life.

Whereas, I don't really want to leave but suppose I do, after marriage would it lead to a
breeding ground of resentment? He said that he will get WFH so that we can stay here and I
can do my business but I don't want that for him the same way he doesn't want me to give my
business dreams. Because we know that this is a slippery slope and what if these sacrifices from
both or one of us make us unhappy in the future?

• He's always imagined having a nice wedding—not over-the-top, but something that feels special and worth spending money on. I've never really cared much about that. I'd honestly be happy with a very simple ceremony or even a court marriage.

The difficult part is that I don't feel it's fair for me to tell him not to have the wedding he's
always wanted just because my preferences are different. At the same time, it also highlights
that we have different attitudes toward spending money in general. He tends to enjoy spending
on experiences and nicer things, while I'm much more frugal and usually prefer to keep things
simple.

• He doesn't force me to do what he believes and vice versa but what about our future? Can we have a good marriage, a happy marriage despite these differences? He is very kind, a good person and ideal partner but what about our differences? What about 5 or 6 years from now? What if our differences make us resent each other? Also, what if our families don't like each other and tensions arise? What if we start to blame each other?

• We got together in college and things were so simple back then, but now the world feels too real, the weight of these questions is constant and too much. During a conversation we saw a glimpse of regret and resentment peek out and that has been on our minds since then.

I am sorry this got so long, but we really need help. This feels so scary and we can't find a solution or even a middle ground.
Thank you.

TL;DR - me and boyfriend have too many different core ideological beliefs and we are worried about or future.