M(23) need genuine advice abt a situation that i can't figure out!

So, I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend (22F) for the past 7 years. One thing that has always confused me is that she never responds to the intimate messages or reels I send her. It's not like we're not into each other—we both show affection, and she even initiates things sometimes.

Whenever I ask her why she doesn't respond, she tells me to stop bringing it up because it always turns into an argument. She simply says, "I just don't like it, that's it."

At face value, I understand that. But my overthinking brain just can't let it go.

Whenever she ignores those messages or reels, my mind starts spiraling. I wonder if she's uncomfortable, whether I should stop sending them altogether, or if she's simply not attracted to me anymore. Those thoughts don't just stay online—they've started affecting me in real life too.

Now, whenever we're together, instead of feeling relaxed, I constantly second-guess myself. Even something as simple as holding her hand makes me overthink. My brain immediately starts asking, "What if she's uncomfortable? Should I even touch her? Is it okay?" It's mentally exhausting.

The ironic part is that when we're actually together, she's completely different. She kisses me, initiates affection herself, and never shows any signs of being uncomfortable. In those moments, all my doubts disappear. But as soon as she ignores another intimate reel or message, the same cycle starts all over again.

Today I sent her an intimate reel—not anything explicit, just something romantic. She saw it and left it without any reaction. I asked her, "Am I asking you to do something you don't want to? I just want to understand why you react this way. If it's something I can work on, I will. I just want to understand your feelings."

Her response was, "Why are you bringing this up again? We've talked about this so many times."

The thing is, yes, we've talked about it—but I never really got any clarity. I usually back off because she gets irritated quickly, and I don't want to escalate things or upset her. So I let the conversation end even though my question remains unanswered. When I told her that, she simply said, "I just don't want to. That's it."

Man... I'm seriously racking my brain trying to understand this.

Any girls here who can relate to my girlfriend's perspective or help me understand what's going on? I'd genuinely appreciate your insight.

TL;DR: My girlfriend isn't into intimate messages or reels over text, but she's the complete opposite when we're together. She's affectionate, initiates physical intimacy, and never seems uncomfortable in person. I can't figure out why there's such a difference, and it's making me overthink to the point where I even hesitate to hold her hand.