I can only come from syntribating

I’ve tried rubbing my clit but the sensation feels so weird, it doesn’t help that I have a really small clit that’s basically all covered. I’ve been Syntribating since I was young and I can’t seem to stop. I do it when I’m anxious/horny/sad everything it’s like my coping mechanism. I hate penetration so I don’t want to do that to come cause it hurts too much. But I just want to come like a normal girl😭