looking for sound advice to a crucial deciding moment

Problem/Goal: I have an upcoming Thailand Travel on Aug with my partner (wlw) who cheated on me last May, at nalaman ko nitong July. Context: Already posted initial story in (r/wlw) but na removed pero this time I need an advice kung anong pwede ko kayang inext move for my clarity na din. I (27F) have a partner (29F) for 11 yrs, I admit na hindi maganda yung naging relationship namin, maraming ups and down. And nagseselos din ako sa mga friends niya kasi kahit iinclude niya ako isang beses sa hang out nila, hindi niya magawa, pero on my side kilala siya ng lahat ng friends ko from diff era ng buhay ko. Since we are not both out din naman, but I just know people suspected us. And kung hihingi ako ng assurance sa kanya if totoo na ba ‘to, na tayo na talaga yung end game, sinasabi niya, pertaining to other people, na what you is what you get. Na ppresure siguro siya sa mga tanong ko kasi naman almost 30 na kami and I understand her kasi feeling niya hindi pa daw siya accomplished so, I let loose of that serious convo. But I never left her, okay pa naman kami, we update each other, hatid-sundo and stuff. In May, nagsabi ako sa kanya na hindi muna kami magsasamang matulog (magkabilang kanto lang po yung bahay namin) since I was regularized sa new job ko and I need to observe muna yung new environment ko. So I thought I'm giving her the time and space that she needs, and vice versa. Little did I know, she had freedom palang gumawa ng alter acc sa x (nsfw) and tried to explore there. (Hindi ko kayang idetalye pa yung mga ginagawa niya don) and my nakilala siyang girl, a student (22, hyperfemme na parang woonyoungism ang lifestyle) na same course sa kanya, at nagka mabutihan sila, napuntahan niya na at nag kiss daw sila. (At hindi din ako nakaramdam ng kahit inggit sa other girl kasi I felt like yung yung hindi ko napunan sa self ko, self-care) I know yung details kasi kinomfront ko siya, na sabihin niya sa akin yung totoo, para isahang sakit na lang, and she blurted out all the details naman, and I don't care kung ano pang gini-gatekeep niya. Here comes the following weeks, na I constantly beg na kung gusto niya pa yung relationship namin, we'll fix it. (I'm aware po na parang wala akong self-respect) since I'm trying to mend things pa, and I know naman kung anong dapat kong gawin (no contact/break up) pero ang hirap po. Currently, nakikipagkita pa din ako sa kanya as I'm trying to help her prepare sa CSC Exam, and we observe each other at the moment, minsan nag o-utbust din ako due to triggers. I already deac my soc med x, ig (nag llike at repost siya ng mga yearning memes), kasi pag na-aalala ko, I still felt the pain in my chest. And we talk casually na para bang, normal na lang ulit ang lahat. And she said she cut all the communication sa girl, but who knows. Ngayon, malapit na yung travel namin, I'm thinking na samahan siya sa loob ng Airport, at iwan ko siya dun, (Is this a mean move?) and yung pocket money ko para sa travel ay ibabayad ko na lang sa kanya (my mga transaction/gamit kami/ko kasi na sa kanya isina-swipe). Pero at the same time, parang naawa naman akong iwan siya kasi wala pa naman siyang sense of direction. But I think this is the time na ibigay ko naman to sa sarili ko yung boundaries na matagal kong ki-nompromise just because I so fvcking love her. Previous Attempts: after kong malaman ang truth from her, kinaumagahan, at 3 am, sinauli ko lahat ng gamit niya thinking I could cut her off that easily, since na ssense ko na before na parang hindi na maganda yung flow ng energy namin pag magkasama kami, then I run at 10 km for straight 2 days na umiiyak sa daan. I also ordered yung mga self-care items, damit etc just to console myself kasi hindi ako nakapag-ayos ng sarili ko din eh, siguro sa security din kasi na akala ko my nagmamahal na sa akin so I didn't prioritize self-care,new clothes, new gadgets etc. at the moment kasi nag invest muna ako ng lot, I thought she would understand.

Please, I need sound advice po. I know medyo desperate ako sa part na kinakausap ko pa siya. And I'm trying to understand her pa kung bakit niya ginawa yon, at hindi in-end yung sa amin before siya nakipaglaro sa batang yun. I just want to read other people's perspective on this, and see what could I do from there.

Anong moment niyo na parang nag r-require na magdecide na kayo? Parang its now or never.

Thank you in adv!