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idk bas....feelin a-banana (a - kela= akela😭) mithron...

so mujhe first of all ara he bhut gussa ..uk why??

I wrote the longest post today... poured my heart into every single word. Then the electricity flickered for literally a second. As a PC user, hogyaa kabadhaa..

udh gaya sab bhaii ....

Hours of typing... gone, just like that. 💔(kachaackkk-*dil tutne wali sound* )

so...childhood wala continuee karnge but kisi or dinn ..aj ki shurwat hi asee hui hee ...kya hi bolun...

tumne kabhi ye socha he kyaa... ki

duniya me haar koi akela he ...har koi ..sab chate he unke pass koi ho ..Hazaaron log dosti chahte hain, lekin sab wait karte hain ki pehla kadam koi aur le... like crazy typ ka ni he ye??

likee

Sabko dosti chahiye, lekin sabko trust karna nahi aata.

Sab kisi ke paas jaana chahte hain, par rejection se darte hain.

Sab samjhe jaana chahte hain, lekin khud ko kholne se ghabraate hain.

Isliye, chaahte hue bhi log ek doosre se jud nahi paate.... or bas akele reh jate he ..idk ye kitna sense bna rah he but choro ..

bhai smajh nahi ata merko ...kon he bhai ye ...

frndship day hug day bf day gf day...

kon he itna khus jo har din har chizz per ek  dedicated day launch kara hee ....Bhai inhone jitni cheezein launch ki hain... utne rockets to shayad NASA ne bhi apni  puri history mein launch nahi kiye honge. 😭🚀

...

mere jese logo ke liye toh ...April Fools' Day hi sabse best he..

majak se hatke... bura toh hame bhi lagta he bhai..

uk these days hi he jo sach me Realize to krwadete he ki... kitni akeli hu me...

ek dost tak nahi he?? not even a single friend to rely on paji??

like itni bhi buri personality nhi he meriii ...fir bhi ek insan nhi he jise me dost bolsku..

din bhar majak banalungi but raat ko ye batte dil per chubti he yawr tbh..

kiuki me nahi chati jab me bhudii hojau to mere pass koi memories na ho yaad karke hasne ko..

ab nhi to kab?

jab jimedariyo ka bhar or bhad jyega??

badi hoti jari hu , har din bas dar lagra he .. ki if not now then when i 'll be happy ?

jab 20, 21, 22 sal ke hojayenge ..100 alag pressure jab kandho per..vasthuguna huiiya 🫩🫦...

karenge tabbb milenge mujhe mere REAL PPLS??

..but aisa toh kabhi tha hi nhi ki log mere pass aye hi nhi dosti ke liye...

the kuch log ..or vo kuch log enough theee mera dosti se bharosa uthane ke liye ab koi genuine banda ayega toh bhi ..

mujhse dosti nhi ho payegi..yawr

you know ...

bhut stories he frndships per ...

ye stories kisi or din ke liye rakhtte he ..

so   ..like kal rat ko me bas ye sochri ti ki ..like wtf yawr mujhe to kisi ne wish bhi nhi kiya ye vo..then maine bhut chize or sochi ..tori barish bhi karwadiii skin per..

and dere dere m bas yahi sochriti ki ...kami kaha he..?

kami mujhme he?

**mujhe ab pehle jesi excitmnt nhi hoti..**

i was that girl ..jiski puri class se dosti rehti ti ... pura school uska dost he ..

Junior

Senior

classmates

security guard

baii jii (cleaner)

colony ke har member

doggiees

cats animals plant  ... sab i was that girl... eve hi muh khol dene sabki suno fir unko hasao ..khudka majak bnao taki vo hase... me sab ko dost bolti ti .. 🫠 sab ko ... even me itni bhewadi insan ki me mere ghar ki chat  per mumma jo plants lagati ti i used to talk to them..    jese vo sach me sun rahe ho .

.... ab plants se kari hu toh animals ka ky hi btauu 😭🙏 ( sab bolte te na bachpan me ki plants m life hoti he , animals sunte hee , unhe pain hota he ... they can feel ye vo ..) so meh bolti rehti ti ... 

and or bhi bhut sari chze ti 

har kisi ko raste me chalte hue ..compliment dediya ... hasa diya ...joke boldiye..koi akela betha he toh uske pass jakar bhak bhak karli..

and 10 min me .. so ap bhi ab mere dost ho ..

se

koi dost hi nahi he mera...

bhut ajeeb lgta he to be honest..

Who I was.  
Who I am.  
Who I'll become.

jese jese umar badhri he ... sab pichhe chuttha jara he ..

**kami sachi me mujhme hi he**

uk idk kab kese ..but mujhe hmesa vo hi log mile he jinka kam bas mujhe life lesson dene tak ka hi tha ... mere itne gande katte he dosti me ki man nahi he ... merko dost banana utna nhi pasand ..ya fir sach bolu to mujhe bhut mannnnnnnnnn karta he ...i still carve for it  honestly, even more than I ever did before.

but dar lagata he as usual ki ...vapis se sab repeat na hojaye ..

uk me bhut bolti hu ... ek baar muh khola toh fr overshare hi hoga... ab sach bolu mujhe bhut dar lagta he ki..kahi maine kisi ko dost bnaya or dil se usse har ek baat share kardi or apni har ek baat bta di ..to kahin firse mera majak na ban jaye...kahi fir se meri baate mre aganst use na hojaye ..

dikaat ye nahi he ki , mera bharosa tutega , ya me or kam bolna shuru krdungi , mera man bhar jyega dosti se ...dikkat ye he ki mera tuta hua dil firse tutega .. or is baar kuch bhi hua toh ... me kese sbhalungi khudko ?

me pata nhi kiu har kisi ko apna man leti hu ...attach hojti hu fir sab wahi karte he jo mene kabhi socha bhi nhi hota...

me har bari ki trah majak nahi bnana chatii ..paajii 🙂

meh hurt nahi hona chtii or ..

mujhe nahi sikhne or lessons

mujhe or smjhadar nahi bnna

i want dost ... jo srf dost ho .. na ki koi lesson , regret , or a story jo me agge kisi or ko btati firu...

**ab ki 2 kodi ki situation mithron** ...

People always say, "Don't let your past ruin your present or your future."

But no one talks about how our past is what shapes who we become. It builds our personality, our fears, our habits, and the way we see the world.

The past will always affect the present and the future. The goal isn't to pretend it never happened...it's to learn how to live with what it left behind.

... sorry angrezii bhut hori he but me hindi me likhungi to m rodungi ...

My past didn't make me stronger.

It taught me to be afraid. It taught me to stay away from people. It made me question every act of kindness and every friendship.🙂

I have this habit of trusting people too easily, and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to change it. Somehow, every decision I make feels like it ends up hurting me.

Maybe that's why my past convinced me that making friends was never meant for someone like me....

Maybe that's why my present feels so different.

My past still follows me.

It makes me overthink, hesitate, and pull away before anyone gets too close.

It's not that I don't want friends anymore... it's that my past made it so hard for me to believe that friendships can stay. And because of that, I struggle to make new ones...

pata nahin ..kya bole jari hu ..kisi ko samajh bhi ayega ya me khud or confuse kar deri hu ..😭😭

**kha lag kari hu ?**

ab bahar to nhi jati me ..kiuki my gharwale yawrr 😭

m bolri hu na ki me ghar per rehti hu matlab every single day ... har minute sachi ghar pr rehti hu me...

so ab agar dosti bhi krni hi he maine to voo online krni padegi jo ..

jo offline wali se bhi gayi gujri hee 🥲

online bhi mko bhut msgs ate he .. but  ab meh baat nhi karpati ,

**soo 1st thing is ki..me khud bhagjaungi...**

me gayab ho jaungi..the moment mujhe feel hua ki ye banda meri vajah se suffer kar raha he..me galtiya karke kisi ko kho du ..use pehle m khud gyab ho jati hu ..

mujhe lgta he ki koi deserve nahi krta mujhe ..me bhut problematic hu , merse baat karte wakt samne wale ko hamesa dyan rkhna padega ..kiuki m bhut senstive hu me rodeti hu ...

merko har dusri baat hurt karti he ...upar se me bhut bolti hu , bhut matlab bhut...bina ser per ki baaate..lame jokes..eve hi khi khi khi karna...or pta  he tumhe i want ki mera dost asa ho ki jab mujhe help chiye hoto sabbse pehle khade rahe..

uk na mera vo batch wala scene 5k wala...me leggit sabko paglo ki trh help krne k liye bolri hu ...request kari hu strangers se ...

but jo log merko kal parso tak bolre te ki ' i like you you r my bestieeeeeeeee ye vo' peso ka sunkar reply back karne me fat rai he unki... me bhut tension me hu ki mera batch ka nhi hopra ...

but they don give a fuck abt that ...

to merko aese dost nhi cye ..jo meri aese tym per ..thik he bhai pese nahi he bhut puch to le..baat krke jaan to le kya mental state he but ...nh nh nh

or uk what..

jab koi insab mujhe hurt karta he jante hue bhi ki .. m nahi jhel pati...toh vo insan mere man se utar jata he...m maaf kardeti hu ..m naraj nhi hoti..but m bhulti nhi hu...fr m kbhi us insan se vese baat nhi krpti jese karti ti..

nd..me bhut bolti hu , bubly nature he..to mere dost bnjte he but mujhse fir hmesa yahi expctn lagkr beth jate he ki ... ye bolti rhgi ... ye hayegi..ye tori sad hogi ..ye toh jokes hi kregi..or jis din mujhe low feel ota he toh m nahi share karpungi varna instead of mujhr smjhe..they will just ask me one thng ki ho kya gya he bhai terko..esi tori he tu....

or ..uk

me bhut galitya krti hu as we all know ...to mujhe dar lgta h ki m kisi  ka day ruin na krdu...or me muh kholti hu to overshare krdtii hu fr mujhe guilt hota he or sab mujhe fr judge karte he ki ..she so immature  ye vo..

or koi accha insan mera dost bngya to.. me kahiii sab kharab krke uska wishwas na htadu dosti se....

or uk like asa he ki mujhse shuru se ek hi bande se dosti ho pati he group me rhti hu but main ek hi ..kiuki bhandara tori lga ge ...sabko nhi de skti me attention yawr ..toh jab bhi koi ata tha frnds banne k liye me mana kardeti ti kiuki frnd to he hi ..fltu kisi ko hopes kiu deni ..but

ya to banti ni ti age jkr ya kat jata tha ...

last m meh akeli reh jati ti..

so..

To me, a real friend is someone who keeps my inner child alive, stands up for me when I can't, and stays by my side through everything.

That's all I've ever wanted from a friendship.

bas ... ek dost .. jo bas ek dost bankar aayeee .... regrets nahi ...

thats all for todayyy ..

hope sabka din mangal-mey ho ..and koi merse relate na hi karee

hope sabko frnds milee lessons nhi ...

**A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.**

isi pyareee quote ke sathhh pajii bye byeeeeee !!

friendshp day ab nahi raha...chalo uski yaad me 2 assuuu hojaye 𓁇𓁋😔🤍