Suppressing trans feelings whole life

Hello i think i know i am trans for whole life, but i am trying to suppress it, hide it, ignore it. Some days are good, but sometimes the feeling of wanting to be a woman is really hard to bear. I try to not think about it, but its in my head all the time. I even tried to become super masculine, so maybe by it the feeling would go away, but it is not. How to manage it? The constant weird feeling?