Insecurities caused by my ex.. gave me a trauma.

For context: I broke up with my ex and later i met my bf and in a happy relationship. My bf is very good to me.

This is about my feelings and trauma thats been with me after my ex broke up with me. Basically when i was dating my ex.. everything seemed so good to be true. I felt like a dream. I made him come to my fellowship (church group). All my friends became his friends. However, overtime the thing that i didn’t realise, also my pastor and friends is that my ex is very good at faking. First i have a higher degrees than him and my job is better and i get paid equal to him with no job experience meanwhile he has 6 years. Second, i belonged to different race and colour. He is asian. Third, his mom also had a problem with me. The way i dress, the looks etc. at first i didn’t acknowledge this.. i didn’t expect people would be this cruel. However, he faked it so good and one day when we had some differences he started blaming everything on me.. although the fight was because of his mom. She had problems that i have higher degree too and she divorced her husband. Anyways.. he was very good lets say today and by tomorrow he just decided to leave me.. like a stranger. I got anxiety issues after that. I got hurt a lot. I have this problem where i feel like people will leave me. Fast forward to months later.. i met a new guy (my bf).

Now im dating my bf who is a really good person. Its been almost 9months. He knew about my past. But even after all this im scared that what if he leaves me too… i know this is because i got the feeling of abandoning and also losing my mom. But how do i process these feelings? I know i dodged a bullet when it comes to my ex. Even when i broke up with him, i said this to him that he destroyed my heart and he was cruel and he shld not destroy other people’s lifes too.. he shld get checked (he has/had dysthymia). I know i should be grateful that i have a life now, a good family, a bf who loves me and he even wants to marry me.. but the scary feeling in my heart after all that.. just wont help sometimes. My bf helps me a lot. Assures me. I love him so much.. he is my favourite person. He is my safe place. It is not his fault im scared.. What shld i do ? How do i process feelings?