I want to leace the hutterute church but im conflicted.

Im 17, female. As the title suggests i'm a hutterite. I came here hopeing you people could help me in any way. Im very divivded right now because i want to leave once i turn 18 next year. I want to because i cant tolerate our system for much longer and i want indepence abd to continue my education beyond a highschool diploma. But i am struggleing with the decision because of my family. My sister left several years ago and they were heartbroken. I dont want to put them through that again. Its the same thing with my grandmother, i dint want to put her through that again but i recently found out one of my cousins who is also female and my age will be leaveing when shes 18 and i want to leave with her but also not. I want to medical school but also make sure i have a little money before i see if i can get into any school. Can you please share your thoughts and opinions to me? If anyone has quesrions i will answer them. Thank you fir listening.