how to manage binging and sustain a deficit?

ive been binging, for every other day, and of course i have gained weight, slowly but i did
and now, my hair is very very thin due to malnourishment i had before, so it just looks horrible

i genuinely look like a whale with thin strands of hairs, before at least i was thin and with little hair.

how do you cope? ive been trying to lose the weight i put on during my binge periods, but it all ends up with me binging even more.