Venting: I miss feeling desired, but I'm tired of being the only one who initiates kink

We're both adults (18+), married, with a kid at home. Our D/s is pretty tame but meaningful: a collar at home, some service, light bondage, and the occasional impact play when we have the energy. Lately I feel like I'm the only one who ever reaches for the erotic side of us, and it's starting to make me feel pathetic.

Day to day my partner likes the structure - I'm the one taking on tasks, checking in, keeping little protocols - but when it comes to anything sexual it's like hitting a wall. If I ask for a scene I get "maybe later" or "I'm tired" (fair, we are both exhausted). If I try to initiate physically they gently redirect me. If I do nothing, weeks can go by.

I know postpartum changes bodies and desire, and I don't want to minimize that. What gets to me is that the D/s rituals are still there in non-sexual ways, so it feels like I'm holding up the comfort and the rules without any of the reciprocal intimacy that used to make it feel mutual. I'm starting to resent the collar because it feels like a symbol of me wanting them more than they want me. I don't want duty sex, and I don't want to guilt or coerce. I just want to feel chosen.

Has anyone navigated this? Do you pause the dynamic entirely until desire comes back, renegotiate what "service" means day to day, or set a minimum frequency for scenes in a way that doesn't feel transactional?